Patricia Hewitt to stand down as MP at general election

Forget Harperson. Forget Blears. Forget Cooper. Forget Beckett. Forget even the nightmarish Dawn Primarolo. No, the female Labour MP who makes me run screaming into the street the most has got to be the hideously ugly Australian re-tread, Patricia "No, I really am much better than you, you ignorant serf" Hewitt.

Words fail me on how much I loathe this self-serving, arrogant, condescending, ignorant, money-grabbing, slimy, patronising, evil,... [there will now be a short interlude] ..., hideous, tax raising, liberty destroying witch.

The world will be a much, much better place when she disappears into a quangocracy of Accenture directorships, or even better, sods off back down to Australia; I won't even mind as a taxpayer buying her a business class ticket, so long as it's strictly one-way only. But check this out for a parting line:

“I didn’t plan this. I did initially want to serve another term. But I feel the time is right. The truth is that after 13 years as an MP and 10 years in Government, I have not seen enough of my family. They have paid a high price for that.”

Dear Lord. What terrible scandal is about to come out on Hewitt? It must be a corker.

And what's this about "serve"? Surely "serve myself" would be much more appropriate for this most revolting of antipodean pork troughers?

But thank the Lord she has gone, for whatever reason she is currently trying to hush up.

So, how good did I feel when I heard this morning that Patricia Hewitt was history? Well, check out this goal celebration of Marco Tardelli when he put Italy 2-0 up in the 1982 World Cup final. I think that should give you at least the vague outlines: