"I wanted to save the whales and make the world a cleaner place"Children, all of those ambitions are wonderful and enlightening. So you, the ugly group over there in the corner. What did you want to do?
"I wanted to end poverty and put a smile on everyone's face"
"I wanted to be an astronaut and fly to the Moon to help humanity go to the stars"
"I wanted to paint beautiful buildings to record their importance forever"
"I wanted to write stories to help other people learn about spiders and other creatures"
"I wanted to make up false statistics on carbon dioxide so I could get rich on research grants, rather than spend my time researching stuff which might actually be useful to other people"Yes, my friends.
"I wanted to be a tax policeman and make people pay for stuff other people use and get rich on arrest bonuses, rather than doing something useful and productive in the voluntary free market"
"I wanted to trade carbon tax credits to make a fortune for myself, even though I know it's all a load of codswollop, rather than help ordinary people secure themselves better pensions for their old age"
"I wanted to be a jailer and put innocent victimless crime people in jail, so that I get to be a prison governor one day and get a nice fat pension from the state, because I think it's great when I see other people suffering"
"I wanted to pretend to obey carbon tax credit rules and then build coal-fired power stations in India and China which make the whole thing a nonsense, because I hate everyone, and think it's hilarious that the Indians and the Chinese are laughing at you stupid westerners"
The human race has officially gone mad.
We truly are descended from the Golgafrinchans.