Sir Bufton Huffchester thinks that UKIP are the real conservative party and that if hapless Dave messes up again in next week's TV debate, then Nick Clegg might be taking seats off him.
Sir Huff also thinks, quite rightly, that it is impossible for Tyrant Brown to do any worse than he already did.
Personally, I could only stomach about half an hour of the 'Great Historic Debate' last week, before I had to go and defluff my spin dryer, but Nick Clegg to me had nothing more to say than 'I'm not one of the other two'.
That the Great God of Democracy should come to this; we're ruled over by a robot, we have a wet blouse trying to take over from him, and the up-and-coming star is a man whose face I start forgetting even while I'm looking at him.
Fortunately I had removed all of the heavy objects from around my television before I started watching the program, as I usually find it impossible to watch Gordon Brown without feeling either uncontrollably violent or uncontrollably ill (or both). But next week I don't think I'll bother. It really does look like I'm wrong in my predictions and that we should be seeing the end of him.
And although to me it matters not a jot which crummy pol gets the keys to Number Ten next month, I still think I'll be fairly happy to see this tyrant kicked back to Scotland. Let's hope that he loses his seat, too, to either the Liberals or the Scottish Nationalists.
That really would make my day.
Yes, I know it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to the Spend!, Spend!, Spend! machine of Whitehall, but I'll gather this rosebud while I may.