The sheer pointlessness of George Osborne

Once again, last night on Newsnight, George Osborne of the Conservative Party proved what a jellyfish he is.

He acted 'tough' throughout the day, announcing that he would 'consider' Swedish-style reform if elected as Chancellor.

When pressed on Newsnight, however, about whether this meant he would actually, God Forbid, cut government spending by 12% (something even the Swedes managed), he blathered, and he obfuscated, and he made himself look an utter twerp.

The best he could manage was that he would 'ring-fence' spending on the NHS and on 'International Aid'. This is the power and draw of democracy. Increased NHS spending in recent years has been calamitous, with massive increases in spending followed by feeble increases in output. As to 'International Aid', if it was renamed 'International subsidies for dictators to amass arms and Swiss gold', it would be a fairer reflection of its purpose and use.

This 'ring-fencing' would also mean that government spending in other departments, such as education, would have to be more than the 12% suggested by Newsnight, to compensate for the bloated NHS and 'Aid for dictators' funds staying where they are.

But don't worry, if you are a parasite. Because George likes sounding tough to try to get people like me to knock on doors for him, but in reality the best he will manage will be spending cuts in the order of 1-2%, with the Bank of England taking up the brunt of government borrowing by printing more money to buy up government bonds, to crowd out all possible investment in productive endeavours.

He will also increase taxes (in the midst of a depression) to ensure that government-employed parasites (a.k.a. 50% of voters) will not have to suffer in the short-term, while what is left of British productive industry and entrepreneurialism migrates to more favorable climes.

In the long-term, of course, about 60 million government parasites will be trying to live off the back of the efforts of a single man with a shovel, but no government ever thinks beyond the next election so don't worry - something will turn up.

In the meantime, George, if you're reading this, take the Maturin Towers' advice:

1. The Labour Party want the Conservative Party to win this May 2010 election, to take the heat for all of feeble cost-cutting that even they know is necessary afterwards

2. Therefore do the opposite of what they want and don't try to win it

3. Say what you actually think, 'This country needs government spending cuts of 20% all round, to first rein in the borrowing to zero, and then to start paying off the principal sums involved. We also will not institute any tax rises, because we want to have a productive economy, and once the government is living within its means, we will keep cutting government spending, and keep privatising everything, and splitting the proceeds between paring down the debt and cutting more and more taxes to grow the economy and get the people of this country back on their own feet and non-reliant on the taxation of other people. The problem in this country is the size of government. It needs to be cut down to size. In our opinion, this is "The smaller, the better".'

4. Having lit the blue touch paper, then retire to a safe distance and watch the Labour Party win the poisoned chalice of this May 2010 election

5. Then watch about six months to a year of dithering, as British society begins to collapse under the strain of more wretched Gordon Brown policies

6. Then sweep to power, in a second 2010 election, with a clear mandate to do what you set out in point 3. above, instead of all this cowardly pussy-footing that you doing at the moment, to try to win the May election

Obviously none of the above will be tried, because the lure of those government limousines will be too much, and Dave and George would prefer the poisoned chalice rather than actually trying to save the country.

Idiots.