Friday, January 15, 2010

The sheer pointlessness of George Osborne

Once again, last night on Newsnight, George Osborne of the Conservative Party proved what a jellyfish he is.

He acted 'tough' throughout the day, announcing that he would 'consider' Swedish-style reform if elected as Chancellor.

When pressed on Newsnight, however, about whether this meant he would actually, God Forbid, cut government spending by 12% (something even the Swedes managed), he blathered, and he obfuscated, and he made himself look an utter twerp.

The best he could manage was that he would 'ring-fence' spending on the NHS and on 'International Aid'. This is the power and draw of democracy. Increased NHS spending in recent years has been calamitous, with massive increases in spending followed by feeble increases in output. As to 'International Aid', if it was renamed 'International subsidies for dictators to amass arms and Swiss gold', it would be a fairer reflection of its purpose and use.

This 'ring-fencing' would also mean that government spending in other departments, such as education, would have to be more than the 12% suggested by Newsnight, to compensate for the bloated NHS and 'Aid for dictators' funds staying where they are.

But don't worry, if you are a parasite. Because George likes sounding tough to try to get people like me to knock on doors for him, but in reality the best he will manage will be spending cuts in the order of 1-2%, with the Bank of England taking up the brunt of government borrowing by printing more money to buy up government bonds, to crowd out all possible investment in productive endeavours.

He will also increase taxes (in the midst of a depression) to ensure that government-employed parasites (a.k.a. 50% of voters) will not have to suffer in the short-term, while what is left of British productive industry and entrepreneurialism migrates to more favorable climes.

In the long-term, of course, about 60 million government parasites will be trying to live off the back of the efforts of a single man with a shovel, but no government ever thinks beyond the next election so don't worry - something will turn up.

In the meantime, George, if you're reading this, take the Maturin Towers' advice:

1. The Labour Party want the Conservative Party to win this May 2010 election, to take the heat for all of feeble cost-cutting that even they know is necessary afterwards

2. Therefore do the opposite of what they want and don't try to win it

3. Say what you actually think, 'This country needs government spending cuts of 20% all round, to first rein in the borrowing to zero, and then to start paying off the principal sums involved. We also will not institute any tax rises, because we want to have a productive economy, and once the government is living within its means, we will keep cutting government spending, and keep privatising everything, and splitting the proceeds between paring down the debt and cutting more and more taxes to grow the economy and get the people of this country back on their own feet and non-reliant on the taxation of other people. The problem in this country is the size of government. It needs to be cut down to size. In our opinion, this is "The smaller, the better".'

4. Having lit the blue touch paper, then retire to a safe distance and watch the Labour Party win the poisoned chalice of this May 2010 election

5. Then watch about six months to a year of dithering, as British society begins to collapse under the strain of more wretched Gordon Brown policies

6. Then sweep to power, in a second 2010 election, with a clear mandate to do what you set out in point 3. above, instead of all this cowardly pussy-footing that you doing at the moment, to try to win the May election

Obviously none of the above will be tried, because the lure of those government limousines will be too much, and Dave and George would prefer the poisoned chalice rather than actually trying to save the country.



Anonymous said...

You are obviously right.Perhaps, on the other hand, a vote for UKIP will not only give them all pause for thought it might also do the Cons a favour by losing them the next election and disposing of Cam and Ossie into the bargain.

However I do think your idea would be the most elegant but I don't see Ossie having the wit to understand the benefit of taking your advice, even if it is for free.

Brown, who is said already to be plotting strategy for the election after next, would be gutted with a 2010 victory so I guess we can do them all a favour by voting for one of the minor parties.

Jack Maturin said...

If I was a believer in Democracy, Anonymous, I would agree with your agreement with me. However, putting my 'Mad Anarchist' hat on again, I can only say that all voting is pointless, indeed possibly dangerous, as it 'legitimises' all politicians, even if you vote for the other side.

So don't vote, Anonymous. It only encourages 'em.

The best result would be nobody voting at all, everyone buying gold, to cripple the British government's pound, and everyone stopping work at their new 50% threshold, to stop the bastards stealing even more to keep themselves going. (BTW, my accountant tells me the new top rate of tax is actually 60%, but if I come anywhere near either bracket, he's going to let me know so I can stop, and get myself into the back garden for some pruning.)

Unfortunately, however, once Brown 'calls' the election (probably on the last possible date, as he's such a coward), once again we will get all excited about 'change', and the log will roll again with another 5 years of legitimacy for whichever wannabe tyrant gets the bottle spun in their direction.

If you absolutely MUST vote, then UKIP is perhaps the best bet, but there's really not much point.

This British government will only stop expanding itself when the hole it digs for itself is so deep, that it implodes from within.

Maturin Towers long-term bet:

1. Currency crisis - Pound to collapse in value

2. Britain begs to join Euro

3. Britain let into Euro, at terrible terms - we all stagger on for a few more years

4. Euro currency crisis

5. Dollar currency crisis (at some sudden point, which could be sooner rather than later)

6. Europe and America turn to Japan and China to let Yen and Renminbi become basis of new world currency

7. Japan and China agree - we stagger on for a few more years

8. Yen/Renminbi currency crisis - both worth nothing

9. Gold finally re-emerges after much gnashing and wailing, perhaps based on new Arabic currency