The snake sheds its skin

As the onion layers peel off, the Clunking Fist of Downing Street, Gordon Brown, is gradually reverting back to his central belt communist past:

Gordon Brown puts workers' rights at heart of Labour fightback

Gordon Brown today put new workers' rights at the heart of his attempts to win back voters who have deserted Labour in recent months.

When he talks about workers' rights, of course, he means the rights of workers to be unemployed as the entrepreneurs and risk-takers of Britain emigrate to Ireland, et al, to get away from having to empty their pockets to pay for all of these "rights".

Gordon Brown's put the economy at the centre of the Government's legislative programme in the next parliament.

What economy? The whole kaboose is based upon a credit crunch of insolvency structured upon fresh air. And if Brown hadn't noticed, the whole kaboose is currently tumbling down. Adding a few more thousand pages of damnable FSA-style regulations to this mix may keep the lawyers in Westminster paddling up a creek, but if you believe Uncle Gary North, Niagara Falls is still around the corner and getting closer all the time. Just listen to that roar.

The Prime Minister has unveiled details of his Government's next Queen's Speech as he tries to regain the political initiative after weeks of Labour infighting and negative headlines.

Sorry, I nearly fell asleep there.

Mr Brown confirmed plans for a bill to step up regulation of the banking system and announced an extension of the “shared equity” schemes that aim to help people get a foot on the housing ladder.

Listen, Gordon, it's really easy: Stop printing fiat currency! If you keep it up, we're going to have Zimbabwe-style rioting in the streets before you're done. And for a man of such alleged financial acumen to watch the sub-prime crisis unfold in the U.S. and to then promise almost identical "social access" schemes here, to weave the same destruction, is simply beyond belief.

Saying his “immediate priority” was to help hard-working families, Mr Brown also announced plans he said will make life easier for working parents.

No, his immediate priority is to help Labour-supporting welfare bums by punishing hard-working families with more taxes, more regulations, and more inflation to destroy their savings. It has reached the point now where it is virtually pointless to save anything. And once we do all stop saving, we'll start heading back to the stone age before you can say "capital destruction".

He said that John Hutton, the Business Secretary, will tomorrow confirm that ministers wild adopt new proposals on flexible working, giving parents with children as old as 16 the right to request flexible working.

Thereby making them even more unemployable, pushing more employers into bankruptcy, and forcing even more entrepreneurs overseas in their bid to escape this welfare state insanity. It would also seem that Brown has finally abandoned all pretence of being on the business man's side in his rush back to a socialism both red in tooth and in claw.

Mr Brown also promised “a major new change in workplace rights that will benefit both employees and employers - giving every worker the right to request time to train.”

I'm sorry, I nearly had to gnaw my own leg off there, to escape the boredom.

He said the Government will also offer every adult a “personal skills account.”

Oh Christ, how about just giving them all of their money back and letting them spend it how they want? I know that's a bit revolutionary, but Brown seems to have got himself trapped in a whirlpool where he thinks policy failures can only be solved by giving us more of the same. I think it was Richard Bandler who said if you don't like what you're getting then do something different, but whoever it was, Gordon Brown was obviously talking too much to listen.

On schools, Mr Brown said the Education and Skills Bill would establish the first independent qualifications system to guarantee the highest standards while strengthening the accountability of schools to parents.

Oh no, we're all going to get 'A's for everything and still none of us will be able to write our own names. Ah, what a blessed socialist land that will be.

The Bill would also include a statutory right for every suitably qualified young person to obtain an apprenticeship.

A statutory right? "You will employ me, pay me, and train me, even though I will be of no use to you for at least five years, when I will then leave and get a job with one of your competitors, and I claim this as my statutory right". Nope, it doesn't compute to me. Unless of course Gordon Brown is deliberately trying to destroy every employer in the country. Yikes! That's probably it!

A new NHS Reform Bill would establish an NHS constitution setting out what patients can expect from the health service, including entitlements to minimum standards of access, quality and safety.

How about not losing your limbs or your life due to MRSA infection. That would be a start. I know you've only had eleven years in power now Gordon, but any time soon would be nice to get these doctors and nurses to start washing their hands occasionally.

There will also be moves to make local police commanders more directly accountable to their communities, a policy first advocated by the Conservatives.

Absolutely shameless. But when Gordon says communities, he does of course mean "committees", none of which us proles will be allowed to access without going on the dole and spending 30 hours a week in libraries keeping up with all the other layabout socialist expenses-living councillors who infest this land.

There will also be an immigration bill to make immigrants “earn” British citizenship and the right to claim benefits.

Who would want British citizenship? It's much better to just get permanent residency and keep all the tax breaks and the welfare payments.

Mr Brown told MPs: “Building a more prosperous Britain and a fairer Britain is the purpose of the draft legislative programme published today for debate in this House and the country.”

Drone, drone, drone,....does he really wonder why he's hated so much?

David Cameron, the Tory leader, accused Mr Brown of stealing Conservative ideas. ”I hope when you get up we will get a bit of gratitude from you for all this,” he told the Prime Minister.

Fat chance.

Well, all in all, a witless performance from Gordon so dreary and predictable I started trying to lick the back of my own knees to give myself something interesting to do.

In the name of God, please, Gordon, will you go back to Scotland, lock yourself in a toilet, and stay there; hopefully forever. Bring on Milliband. At least things will get slightly more unpredictable again.