Here at Maturin towers we like to bring you the very latest in up-to-date news, so I thought you might like to know, in case you missed it, that it is now illegal in the UK to look at a woman's breasts. I therefore forbid you from gazing at the central portion of the photograph of Miss Gemma Atkinson, below:
Now you might have found that tough, but what about the poor politicians who rule our lives? They not only have the difficult task of drowning us in all these taxes and regulations, but they must appear as if they're following all these stupid rules themselves. Most of them can manage this tricky deception, but some are a tad more transparent than the rest. I only hope Bonson Jorris can manage to follow this new law on what we are now prohibited from looking at.