Hang on a minute, surely this can't be right. Did I really just hear on the news that the UK government's Child Support Agency has failed to locate £3.5 billion pounds? Is it true that of this £3.5 billion, last year they managed to recover just £8 million pounds, and it cost them £12 million pounds to do it?
I'm sorry. I'm just going to have to go and lie down for a while, with a wet flannel on my face. Words almost fail me. A few are sputtering to the surface. Try these on for size.
Unbelievable. Failure. Government. Corruption. Jackasses. Idiots. Poltroons. Fibroids. Monkey Nuts. Bananas. Teapots.
Put them together in any order you like, with a few conjunctives, and see what you get. Nothing makes sense to me, anymore. Maybe you can do better?
And now because of this immense government failure, with no doubt not a single civil servant being troubled by the sack, HM Treasury is going to impose private tax farmers onto the UK's burgeoning population of single fathers.
When a government reaches a point where it has become incapable of collecting its own imposts upon its own tax slaves, without incurring more costs than it collects, then a new low in government incompetence has surely been breached.
Well, at least until tomorrow that is, when Ruth Kelly, the laughable education minister, explains why she allowed paedophiles to access children in the state school system, with her personal blessing.
Nurse!? The screens!!!