Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Cameron, Strike #1

You may recall I predicted future David Cameron policy statements, last week. One of my predicted quotes was:

"I believe that sustainable development - striking a balance between economic growth and environmental protection - is of crucial importance"
Obviously he's had to change his wording, since my forecast, but I think the spirit still remains.

Today, in the Torygraph and on the Tories' own website, amongst other bilge, I found the following statements of conservative principle suddenly bursting forth from one of his news conferences:

"In my New Year message, I said we should remember Mahatma Gandhi's words and 'be the change we want to see in the world'"
Mahatma Gandhi? You mean the well known Tory philosopher? It's good to see where David is getting his inspiration from these days, now that he is Tory party leader. I wonder what Winston Churchill would have made of the following?:

"We have a shared responsibility to tackle climate change, and Climate Change Now's fantastic campaign makes it easy for everyone to do just that"
Shared responsibility with whom? With me? No doubt if he gets into power Cameron will be pointing a gun at my head to make me share his responsibility, for instance by increasing compulsory renewable power quotas for electricity suppliers. It's for my own good, obviously, as I'm too stupid to know what's good for me.

One of Cameron's poltroons added the following:

"Supporting the Climate Change Now campaign is positive for both the environment and the political process, and I urge everyone in a position to do so, to seize the moment and switch"
Why should I bother? No doubt you'll be making me take an increasing percentage of renewable power, via taxation, subsidy, and regulation, once you're in a position to do so. I'll leave it you, O masters.

What was even more dispiriting were those at the press conference endorsing Cameron's position, such as Katie Elliott, a Climate Change Now campaigner*:

"Tackling climate change is the most important challenge facing us today and it is crucial that everybody takes whatever action they can to cut their emissions of carbon dioxide"
Hook, line, and sinker. The Greenpeace plan to sucker the entire world has finally toppled the UK Conservative Party. You've got to admire their pluck, really.

"The Government must also do more to make it easier and cheaper to make the right energy choices"
By forcing us to make the right choices, no doubt.

Another muppet, Alex Lambie stated:

"We must all accept that climate change has no social, political or geographical boundaries and that tackling the problem will enhance a modern lifestyle"
And what if I don't accept the idea of catastrophic man-made climate change, Alex, which we can alter at will? Are you going to make me accept it anyway, and force your opinions upon me via your best new friend, Dave? I should coco.

"We have an incredible opportunity not only to reduce the threat of climate change, but also to secure a bright and prosperous future for all"
Prosperous for you Alex, perhaps, with a nice little Whitehall sinecure in Dave's outer office, but I foresee my wallet is going to be thinner than it otherwise would have been, to help keep you in Soya beans. And whatever we do, the climate is going change unpredictably, anyway, just like it has been doing for the last 4.5 billion years.

And just think of all that land in Canada and Siberia which will become productive, if it does get warmer, and those new trade shipping routes around the Arctic, cutting raw material journey times? And I'll be able to grow wine grapes on my estate. Bring it on, not that I believe in it for a second, anyway, Alex. The climate has always changed in the past; the climate is changing right now; and the climate will continue to change in the future, until one day the Sun finally blows up providing those of us remaining with the ultimate climate change. Get used to it, Alex. What really would be miraculous is if someday we actually developed a terraforming technology capable of holding it constant.

The arrogance of mankind in thinking the Earth's climate gives a diddly-squat what we hairy little apes do scrabbling about on its surface, only leaves us open to these demagogues and their plans to rule over us. No doubt now that David has seen the light of Greenpeace, when he gets into government he will immediately cancel Tony Blair's airport expansion plans, so as to cut down on carbon dioxide emissions! What? You mean he has no plans to do this? Who'd a thunk it?

David Cameron doesn't give a toss about carbon dioxide levels. He just wants our votes. A more important question to answer is just why do we keep falling for these same old filthy vote-grabbing tricks? Politicians! We deserve 'em.

*Incidentally, isn't "Climate Change Now" a rather silly name for such a lobby group? It seems to suggest that they want climate change, now. Oh well, just a thought.


Julius Blumfeld said...

The scary thought is that the man might actually believe some of the enviro-crap he and his advisors are spouting ;-(

Jack Maturin said...

Don't worry julius, he doesn't believe it. All he believes is that there are a few million votes attached to 'green' issues. And that he needs these votes to gain power.