Thursday, January 24, 2008

The law of unintended consequences

Our idiot masters here in Britain, in their ongoing bid to become Lords of Body Fascism, are about to start taxing me to transfer my wealth to pay fat people to lose weight. Which is nice.

So what will the consequence of this be amongst the legions of welfare bums up and down the land? I would have thought that this would have been obvious to even the fools who inhabit Whitehall. Because you're about to see a whole new way of acquiring cash. Yes, that's right. Slimmer people are about to start eating five portions of ribs and chips every day to get fat enough to go on the program, to cash in on the incentives to get back to their original weight and then probably failing in their efforts, thereby making the whole situation worse.

The ones who do manage to lose the acquired weight will also put themselves on the program repeatedly, to create themselves a nice steady stream of income, cycling their weight up and down in accordance with government guidelines, thereby ruining their health, but having even less reason to work, save, or do anything else productive.

You read it here first.

All of these bums will then become even more dependent on welfare to overcome the constraints of...

Hang on a minute. You don't think this is all a deliberate plan to make us all poorer and fatter, and therefore even more dependent on the largesse of government, do you? I should coco.

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