Thursday, November 19, 2009

British government increases borrowing the day after promising to cut borrowing

Can we really take these people seriously any more, with anything they say?

Check out this quote from the linked-to article:

The figures are "undoubtedly once again make for worrisome reading and highlight the very difficult task that whatever party is in power after next year's general election will face in reining in the bloated deficits," said Howard Archer, an economist at Global Insight.
Very difficult task? No, Mr Archer, it's a very simple task. You just go to Whitehall and then start sacking civil servants. You keep sacking civil servants until anyone outside the civil service notices. That's £300 billion in savings straightaway.

Let's have a first crack at it:

Charity Commission for England and Wales => Gone
Commissioners for the Reduction of the National Debt => Ha! Gone
Crown Estate => Sold off. Gone
Export Credits Guarantee Department => What? An MI6 cover agency? Gone
Food Standards Agency => What? You mean they're still here? Gone
Forestry Commission => Up in smoke. Gone
Government Actuary's Department => Another fiscal joke. Gone
National School of Government => It just gets more hilarious by the minute. Gone
Office for Standards in Education => You're kidding me. Gone
Office of Fair Trading => Get out of here. Gone
Office of Gas and Electricity Markets/Gas and Electricity Markets Authority => Switch to manual. Gone
Office of Rail Regulation => Railroad 'em. Gone
Parliamentary Counsel Office => Don't know what they're supposed to do. Don't care. Gone
Postal Services Commission => Post 'em abroad. Gone
Public Works Loan Board => I bet nobody there ever does any work. Gone
Revenue and Customs Prosecutions Office => Biggest crooks in government. Gone
Serious Fraud Office => Biggest waste of money in government. Gone
Treasury Solicitor's Department => Sack the lot of them. Gone
UK Statistics Authority => One more statistic. Two thousand civil servants sacked today. Gone
UK Trade & Investment => Money better spent on investment. Gone
Water Services Regulation Authority => Money down the drain. Gone

After chucking out all of the tax eaters above, we can really get to town:

Attorney General's Office => M'learned opinion is that they should be. Gone
Department for Communities and Local Government => Prescott's bloated ex-fiefdom. Gone
Department for Business, Innovation and Skills => Let them all try to be real entrepreneurs. Gone
Department for Children, Schools and Families => Families can look after themselves, thanks. Gone
Department for Culture, Media and Sport => Only fascist governments try to control culture. Gone
Department of Energy and Climate Change => Ministry for watching the lights go out all over Britain. Gone
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs => Put them on the land. Gone
Department for International Development => Not our problem. Gone
Department for Transport => Ha! Gone
Department for Work and Pensions => Biggest losers in Whitehall. Sack the lot of 'em and see if any of them can hold down a proper job. Gone
Department of Health => A sickly beast. Gone
Foreign and Commonwealth Office => What? You mean we still have an empire and we're not a US satrap? Gone
Government Equalities Office => Let's equalise them with the unemployed created by Gordon's bust. Gone
Scotland Office => Hail to Scotland's freedom and independence. Gone
Wales Office => The Welsh can look after themselves. Gone
Northern Ireland Office => Let the Irish look after the Irish. Gone
Office of the Advocate General for Scotland => Is this still here after all these years of devolution? Gone
Office of the Leader of the House of Commons => Irrelevant waste of space. Gone
Office of the Leader of the House of Lords => Even more irrelevant. Gone

After that, you privatise everything that moves. You then privatise everything that doesn't move.

Result: The fastest growing economy in the world, making China look like a slug on methadone. Oh, and about three million civil servants working for a living rather than parasitising themselves onto the rest of us.

The solution to this mess is really easy. For anyone with the wit to try it.

1 comment:

not an economist said...

Its like the fat guy who keeps saying he will go on a diet but not today you understand 'cos he's got this whopping great big plate of chips, burgers and mushy peas (covered in mayonaise).

How do I know? Cos I am that fat guy. Pardon me while I go back to my lunch ...