The ventriloquist and his dummy

Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, the 'Sauron' and 'Mouth of Sauron' of British politics, delivered what can only be described as a piffling budget on Wednesday. I thought I would wait a couple of days before commenting, because in times past British chancellors possessing a half-decent spine would announce both the good and the bad news at the same time, in a reasonably up front way. However, jellyfish Gordon Brown introduced the odious habit of simply announcing the 'good' news at the Despatch Box and then sneaking out the 'bad' news later, in various weasel-worded 'supplementary papers'.

Obviously Brown is a foul specimen of the cheapest cloth, but his glove puppet successor, Alistair Darling, is putting this low ranking to the test with his miserable portrayal of a vindictive, confused, and mealy-mouthed socialist.

For somehow, despite spending an hour on his feet delivering a polemic on the moral turpitude of plastic shopping bags, Darling forgot to mention the biggest item of this year’s budget, which will raise another £2 billion in pelf for the Treasury to waste on its non-job tax-eating supporters; it slipped Darling’s mind that millions of tax-payers would be parted from an extra £520 pounds a year in social security tax due to a large increase in the national insurance tax-grab threshold. Whoops!

This theft was felt to be unworthy of mention in the face of all that important news about what government-sponsored scientists think the average temperatures will be in Britain in a hundred years’ time (as if God himself knows), thus justifying further increases in government eco-taxation so they can give more money to state pensioners to buy coal, gas, and oil, to burn this winter. Confused yet? Welcome to the double-think world of Labour party politics.

Aside from this rotten back-handed robbery, and ill-coordinated stupidity, it was hardly a budget at all. More loot, obviously, is to be taken from anyone daring to transport themselves about the land in comfort and safety, and lots of other damnable pick-pocketing measures, plus spiteful ways to make wealth producers leave these shores to prop up the envy of socialism’s natural electorate of clods and parasites. But so far, nothing really appalling has crawled out from the woodwork.

However, it took several years for the repercussions of Brown’s advanced corporation tax grab from British pensions to become appreciated, after his first budget, which later destroyed the previously solvent British pension system. Plus, Brown’s infamous IR35 measures, which sent thousands off-shore, particularly to Ireland, were snuck out in a supplementary paper. So I shall keep a wary lookout.

In the meantime, however, I shall plan my way around the wretched 'Family Business Tax', slated for next year, which is designed to wreck those few independent small businesses left who managed to avoid the worst of IR35’s malevolent thrust. Oh what joy.

I wonder what it would be like to live in Dublin? If Irish property prices collapse much further, I may feel the green blood which runs through my veins calling me home to the land of my great-grandfathers. Ah, go on, I hear you saying. You see, it’s affecting me even now. Begorrah!