Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Zombie Marches Onwards

Gordon Brown is today going to announce “Greater Fairness” for all, “A Crackdown” on City corruption, and “More Free Nappies” for teenage mothers.

Well, I might have lied about that last one, but honestly, would it have made any difference if I hadn’t?

Just what exactly is the point of Gordon Brown? Everyone knows he’s finished, except apparently himself. Yes, I suppose he can be used by all the other cowards in the current Cabinet to take the blame for the impending wipe-out of the Labour Party, as they stagger into an economic depression (none of which is their fault, you understand, oh no). But what exactly will be the point of taking over a political party, in 2010, which has just 67 M.P.s?

Scotland will be almost entirely Scottish Nationalist, and will then secede to create a free Scotland, the Liberal Democrats will become the second largest party in England, Wales will become a total irrelevance to “British” politics and will then (hopefully) march quickly towards secession, and the Tories will remain in power in England for about 15 years, before total corruption wipes them out again, despite being led by a wildly popular Prime Minister, Bonson Jorris (shades of Churchill).

So what’s the point Jack Straw, David Miliband, et al, of hanging on for after the election? Be brave, for God’s sake, and give us something interesting to watch on the telly, while we wait for the phone to ring with a meagre offer of work.

I suppose that a “North of England” secession might become the point of the Labour Party, seeing as it will be entirely concentrated in the northern conurbations, but then who will they sponge off? Yes, the party of my youth, the Labour Party, is certainly living in interesting times.

But then, aren’t we all?

UPDATE: Well, he failed to promise free nappies for anyone, but he did promise "free" drugs for cancer victims (paid for, obviously, by yours truly). Obviously they'll be a lot more cancer victims about, now that the appallingly named government agency, NICE, has banned the NHS from using the latest and most effective cancer treatments, on the grounds of cost, but that's me just being picky. Rather predictably, the BBC is rounding up all of its usual socialist idiots and Daily Mirror journalists to tell us what a marvellous rejuvenating speech it was. Apparently, it now gives Brown the "strength" to carry on until at least next June. Really? Only if the Tories can string it out that long by failing to EVER criticize him, I suppose. In the end though, who cares? He'll only be replaced by another taxing, regulating, self-obsessed and self-serving politico, who will just promise a different group of voters that they can have free access to my wallet. But seeing as I have a lot more free time on my hands, at the moment, than I would wish, if he makes it to the end of next week I'll be surprised; to Christmas, I'll be flabbergasted; to next June, well... they do all seem to be dragged out of Downing Street kicking and screaming. But what kind of state will the man be in by then? I am ALMOST starting to feel pity for him. Almost. But not quite. Maturin comment on speech: Same old codswallop drenched in emotional vinegar and deep-friend in envy. Pathetic. Was this really the best you could do, Gordon? No wonder Tony Blair laughed at you behind your back, so much, for all of those years.

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