Bonfire of the Inanities

A sickening feeling crept across my stomach as my host tuned their television to the BBC, or those Buggers Broadcasting Communism as we austro-libertarian nutcases brand these tax-fed Guardian-reading propagandizing enemies of West London. Ye Gods, I thought; no doubt there'll either be an endless wail about the horrors of global warming or a soporific paean to the wonders of welfare. Alas, I was far from being disappointed.

The screen came up, and yes, there it was, an Iceberg. "I wonder what this might be about," I thought. And yes, less than 30 minutes later I was being bombarded by sob stories about how all those liccle iccle cuddly Polar bears are going to die out if global warming takes hold. If you listen carefully, however, you'll always notice David Attenborough is extremely careful about his use of the word if. I'm sure it washes past most people, but he is always sure to place it in there somewhere amongst all the other horror stories about why most people, except David Attenborough and his friends like Michael Palin, should be banned from jetting around the world.

I won't spoil you with the details, but if you are forced to endure the BBC's latest dose of global warming propaganda, just turn the sound off. The photography is simply amazing, but aside from the usual global warming blabber, we get all the other typical communoid bananas, for example, "highly efficient predators spotting opportunities and then making a killing by moving in and cruelly exploiting their weaker targets". I wonder what the allegory might be, there, mayhap?

That I am forced to fund this patronizing moronic rubbish is one thing, but could they at least provide a different soundtrack, perhaps Jimi Hendrix or Murray Rothbard cackling over the downfall of the Iron Curtain? Oh well.

Or maybe even provide an alternative documentary about how humanity is currently living in the middle of an inter-glacial period, where it should be expected that the temperature will either be racing up to a hot peak or racing down to another Ice Age. If global warming is taking place, which is a 50% probability given our position inside an inter-glaical, and if mankind's output of carbon dioxide has more than an utterly minimal impact upon it, which is up to 1% of the effect of a single large volcano blowing off a billion tons of carbon dioxide in a single large explosion, then let's thank God global warming is keeping off the next Ice Age, which is almost certainly waiting in the wings to freeze our brass knuckles off. It's a great word that, if.

We really are living in a world of brainwashed fools. Next, they'll be wanting to ban bonfires, to cut down on carbon dioxide emissions. What? You mean there have already been calls for this? We should ship all of these idiots out to Siberia and watch the fools freeze. I wonder how long their proposed ban on bonfires will last then?