The Happiness of the Long Distance Libertarian

Ok, so it's a little spurious, but a pet theory of mine is that Libertarians are far happier than Socialists. Why do I think this? Well, firstly, we have a better sense of humour; and Christ knows, with the amount of socialism in the world, we need it. But think about it. If you're a socialist, even a well-paid Professor of Gravy-Train studies at the University of Rent-Seeking, Brussels, you spend your whole time angry about everything. You're angry about McDonalds, Coca Cola, iPods, City bonuses, First Great Western, advertising, cars, airlines, first class travel (especially when your academic or civil service rank doesn't qualify for it), BUPA adverts, Hollywood Comedy films, whatever.

However, I am merely angry about First Great Western, and their slavish adherence to Department of Transport policies and their love of days, such as today, when they can claim maximum compliance against government timetabling targets, due to government firemen closing the entire line out of Paddington for three hours, to save any of them risking getting slightly warm, thereby enabling First Great Western to disavow themselves of all lateness problems for an entire 24 hour period - Maximum lateness, minimum blame, what a great day - customer service stood entirely on its head due to government induced targetitis.

Yes, I am angry about that. Well, not really. I had a Ralph Raico lecture to listen to on the delayed train to Penzance, and the Greatest of all living Austrian Professors always knows how to make me laugh out loud, even on a train which was so crowded I was almost unable to open my usual gin and tonic, due to feckless non-First Class passengers filling up my carriage with their copies of the Guardian.

And as for the rest, so long as the bastards don't ever bring my family into it, socialism is such a joke, it's hardly worth getting angry about - it's much better just to laugh at all of these incompetent arrogant fools and their hilarious never-ending cacophony of failed attempts to plan an economy.

To be a Libertarian is to smile 80% of the time and scowl 20% of the time. To be a socialist is to smile 20% of the time (when Gordon Brown announces another fabulous initiative) and to scowl 80% of the time.

Thank God I'm a Libertarian.